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The interviewer pulled his glasses down, and then looked Ted straight in the eye. He did this for what seemed like a minute. Ted tried to start, opening his mouth to talk all about how much he thought of the company and how the position would compliment his current skills of liking money, no wait, he meant problem solving. Just as he opened his mouth, however, the interviewer spoke.

"Shhhh!!"

There was an awkward pause of another 4 minutes. Ted didn't dare say anything this time. Well that's not entirely fair. You see, in Ted's mind is a door. Behind that door is a voice. That voice curses when he's hurt, comments on the assets of the fairer sex he passes on the street, and generally says all the things one would say if their mother hadn't brought them up properly. It is, in effect, Ted's real voice. And while Ted has heard mumblings from behind the door, he has never, EVER - opened it.

Finally the interviewer spoke again.

"Do you laugh?" Silence.

The interviewer began again. "I said, do you laugh?" He leaned over laying on arm heavily on the table between them.

"... Sorry?" Asked Ted.

"Do you laugh? If I told you a funny joke now, would you laugh?"

Ted could feel his hands moist with sweat. The interviewer continued to look at him directly in the eye.

"Um," began Ted. "Yes?"

The interviewer switched the arm leaning on the table as he spoke. "How much?"

Inside Ted's head, he could hear something banging on a door. Despite the distraction, he responded more quickly this time. "Huh?"

The interviewer leaned in even more losely. He was hovering over the entire length of the table now. Ted, remarkably, stood his ground, though the interviewer was only inches away. He might have been paralyzed with fear.

The interviewer spoke. "How much do you laugh? A percentage or fraction is fine."

Ted could definitely hear the voice behind the door in his mind. He locked it. "...15? ...maybe 20?...I mean..."

"Hmm." Said the interviewer as he pulled all the way back to sit normally in his chair. He took a pen on his desk, and wrote something down on a folder that Ted couldn't see. Ted didn't notice as he was too busy breathing in and out deeply.

He stopped abruptly when the interviewer started once more. "When can You start?" The distance between their 2 faces was clastrophobic once again.

"Imm, immediately? " stuttered Ted.

"Great." The face zoomed out again, and the interviewer got out of his chair. "Come with me."

Ted managed a "wai..." and a "bu..." before he was out of his chair and following the interviewer out of the room. Ted turned 3 corners between cubicles, following the interviewer at a brisk pace before he bumped into the man who had suddenly appeared.

"Ah, sorry!" Began Ted, before looking at the towering man now in front of him.

The giant turned to the interviewer, who had stopped walking, and said "So?"

The interviewer handed the man the folder. He opened it, scanned the page, then said "Hmm."

The two men nodded to each other, and then, in unison, continued on. Ted followed.

After passing another ray of cubicles and turning a corner, the two men stopped, and entered the room on their right. To Ted, it looked exactly like the interview room of before. It took him another two moments to notice it WAS the interview room from before.

"So." Said the interviewer.

"Yes?" Ted tried to smile.

"We circled the office for 10 minutes."

"Oh, um. That long? You have a very, impressively large office."

"Yes. Yes we do. Did You notice anything peculiar? "

Ted grimaced in thought, and was about to speak a number of times before thinking better of it. The voice behind the door was shouting so loud he could almost make out the words despite the barrier. Finally the words he let out were "What sort of thing?"

"Well," said the tall one gravely, "You didn't laugh."

"Wha... sorry?" Replied Ted.

"You said you laughed, in percentage, let me quote, 'err 15 t-t-to-twenty?'" Said the giant, imitating his voice. "But for 10 minutes, not a single laugh."

"Ah." Said Ted, crestfallen.

"Why is that?" Asked the man.

Ted was getting rather used to the awkward silence. It was a great deal more bearable than when someone spoke.

It only took 15 seconds before the large man spoke again. Apparently he did not have the patience of the interviewer. "Why is it that you have not laughed yet?"

It is a well known fact that everything has a breaking point. Take anything - a kettle, a plank of wood, a person a door - and given enough pressure, they will crack. As presure builds and builds, the thing can hold on only for so long before the slightest pressure will push the stress point over the edge and the sound of cracking and splintering takes over. The large man's words may not have been overtly harsh, but they were the proverbial straw.

In Tim's mind, the door holding back his emotions, his unchecked thoughts, his cutting remarks, the door that kept him calm, civilized and stable - burst open. Tim felt a surge of joy, knowing that some part of him that he had struggled so hard to keep in check was gloriously free to run amok. He smiled a large smile as he let the words rip from his mouth. " Ha. Ha?" They were smaller than expected.

For a second, Tim was unsure if his words had had an effect. Then the interviewer rose from his chair tight lipped and the giant stormed out. The interviewer then took out his phone and followed the giant out of the room.

Tim was left alone. He looked left, then right. That was rather unhelpful however as there were no windows, just blank walls. So he leaned over and tried to see through the entrance without Leaving his seat. He couldn't see past the first cubicle, which was quiet. Suddenly, he realized the door in his head keeping his inhibitions should have been gone, and a little voice was running about freely. He rose from his seat with purpose - when a tumultuous uproar came crashing into the room.

A dozen voices spoke at once. "Is that him?"

"Can you believe it?"

"Frankly, I'm shocked!!"

Tim sat back down. He never was good at crowds.

A voice cut through the chatter, quieting everyone else. "Yes," said the interviewer, "this is he." The interviewer continued quickly, to cut any responses. "As I told you before, after being asked why it was he had not laughed after 10 minutes, despite previously answering that as a percentage or fraction he laughed 10 maybe 20, he said:"

The interviewer paused and turned to Ted. All eyes were on him. Was he in trouble? Or being applauded? He couldn't tell by the faces staring at him. They were wrapped only in concentration and the study of his next move. Ted realized he was expected to finish the sentence.

"Ha. ... Ha?"

The uproar was enormous as people laughed and cheered and congratulated him. Ted stared dumbfounded as he shook hands with a number of strangers he didn't know.

The interviewer spoke. "That was quite an unexpected response, we hadn't thought of that one. We would also have accepted 'I used up my quota this morning reading Garfield', 'i only laugh on Fridays, holidays and paydays' or 'i thought you'd be offended if I laughed at your face' ".

The Interviewer stepped forward, placed a hand on Teds shoulder and said "You did good. I could see you going far in this company."

Ted was dumbfounded. But a voice inside him was laughing in victory. Ted heard a people behind him talking as he walked with the interviewer out the door.

" I'd want him on my team."

"I'd want two of him on mine."

"He'd be a real asset, that's for sure."

In Ted's mind, a small voice was dancing on the ruins of a door that had once caged it in. Ted examined it and could hear it get bigger. The increase was slight, but it was growing by the minute. In fact, he could hear it clearly now, saying - Ted snapped back into reality to notice the crowd had departed, and it was only him and the interviewer walking down the corridor. The interviewer was speaking to him.

"... The company would do well to treat you right."

The voice in Ted piped up, and for the first time that day, Ted spoke with confidence. "Does that mean I got the job?"

They were at the entrance to the office now. "No, sorry, the position's been filled. The big boss's daughter has come back from some year long trip in the Bahamas and wants a summer job. Better luck next time, though, right?"

In Ted's mind, the little voice stopped dancing, and slowly looked through the new door that had appeared in his mind. It had chains.

"...Oh." managed Ted.

"Still, 'Ha' and THEN 'Ha.' You got it in you. Well, good luck and have a nice day!" Ted was on the other side of the glass entrance to the office now.

He sighed as the door slammed shut.

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If you didnt know, something amazing landed in my mail last week. Can you guess what it is a Nexis One!!!! Sorry, I couldn't hold it in.

Let me say, I never knew how much I needed a smart phone until now. It remembers notes for me, corrects my spelling, tells me where I am - God, this phone is smarter than I am. If You haven't gotten a smart phone, you don't know what you're missing. After all, you haven't received your second brain yet.*

But what if you are already planning to become an augmented human, but don't know what tech is the best? Or perhaps you're already augmented but thinking about an upgrade. Let me give you some advice: Buy a Nexus One.

Of course, I'm bias so let me run things down for you. First, let's list the options. There's Windows mobile, but it sucks. There's symbian, which is better than win mobile, but it still sucks. There's palm webos, but does it have a future? Maybe, but I wouldn't bet on it. That leaves Google android and apple, and by extension (As of Feb 14 2010) the Nexus One and the IPhone 3GS.**

So why buy an iPhone over a Nexus One? A few reasons I can think of:

• You like iTunes delivery system.***
• You like the more sensitive iPhone touch screen.
• You are using /want some killer iPhone apps that haven't been ported to android (yet).
• You plan on downloading 100+ apps that take you over the Nexus 1 200mb limit (harder than it sounds)****.

As for the things that make the Nexus One BETTER? Everything else. Its hardware is way faster (1000 MHz vs 600 MHz), its camera is better, its screen is bigger and brighter, it's lighter and smaller overall, it has noise cancelling hardware, it's cheaper, and best of all the openness of the platform means I can feel all warm and fuzzy inside.*****

What it comes down to, is that the Nexus one is 6 months newer hardware at a lower price tag, with software that is catching up******.

Of course, your mileage may vary. Especially if you wait. 3GS and Nexus One may be cream of the crop - for now. But given 6 months? Have you seen the previews of android phones like the Samsung beam/ halo and Ericsson Xperia 10? And we can't forget the new iPhone wildcard that hasnt been announced but is likely to be released this summer- it's sure to impress (after the ipad debacle, Im sure Apple is banking on it more than ever).

So that's it. Conclusion: Buy a Nexus One. Or wait.

NOTES:

*Sometimes, when I see so many people tethered to their smartphones on the subway, I wonder if the machines have already taken over, and already we're just complicated unique identifiers for our digital overlords.

** You could argue that there are many other choices, but since you'd be wrong and this article is really just to VS these 2 phones, I'm ignoring other options.

*** Personally I hate it, but I find myself wishing for a good itunes-like delivery platform. Except without all the suck. I wonder if you could do that for apple without getting sued?

****This is a software issue so may be resolved in the future, but with so much being pushed onto the cloud I'm not sure how much this really matters. I still have 100mb free - large apps often separate data so most can be stored on the SD.

***** There are more, but why overwhelm you?*******

****** This is a bold prediction I know. But simply put, if Apple doesn't loosen up it's restrictions on platform openness, it's going to strangle its base like it did with the original PC. Already, nerds are saying that Apple is evil. Not just arrogant, but Evil!!! And high tech is the one place where nerds actually matter. Apple has a lead of 5 to 1, but android is gaining.

******* So I was talking to someone who said if I came up with 100 reasons to buy a nexus one, she'd admit I was a prophet and get one. SO:

• 01. Snapdragon 1000mhz processor
• 02. 512mb ram
• 03. 5mp Camera with autofocus + flash.
• 04. Light 130 gram weight
• ... continued on The List

originally written on nexus one

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New widget By the end of the week!!! Since I'm not getting any calls about the bet, let me just say, I WON!!! My whole family was conspiring against me*, but I finished a graph of how well I'm performing days, it's on the side bar now. As you can see, this week wasn't bad. Because I WON!!! Wahahaha!!!

* Okay, so they weren't conspiring against me**, they just wanted me to stay 'till the end of dinner. And yeah, I feel bad, since it's New Years time, but, you know what? It was TOTALLY WORTH IT TO WIN. Wahahaha!

**Well, actually, some of them WERE conspiring against me. But I forgive them, because that's what Winners do.

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